Make your own free website on

Affective Disorder




Personal gestalt :

- I'm 21 yrs.

- live in Belgium

- 1m 87cm

- weigh 80kg

- always out of cash

- I have long hair and wear dirty cloths.

- What I do : painting, drawing, experimenting with music and noise and computer graphics.

- My room is a mess. It is a claustrophobic box of 2x3,5 meters crammed and stuffed with too much shit .

Since I have no longer a wardrobe, my cloths are stacked on my bed (during daytime) or on my desk (when I sleep). Last week I cleaned a little bit, and I found lots of dust and spiders, tiny bugs eating the wood of my bed, 3 unfinished meals with green and gray hair on it, ice tea cans, books from the public library that should be returned a year ago, dry paintbrushes, old ms-dos disks, of wich one contained "Cybercon III", a weird 3D game, a leaking car battery so there is an acid stain on the floor. The carpet on the floor was full of dust and overcrowded with fleas and had to be removed, so now it is a bare concrete floor. The wall at the rear end of my bed needs to be cleaned from all the phlegms wich I shoot on it everytime I wake up. If you mail me your address, these items can be sent to you for free.

They say the room is the reflection of the inner I must be a structureless soul.

Interests :

My fields of attention are Metaphysics, art (history), (electronic) music, (3D) computer graphics, lucid dreams and astral projection. I started with music playing a drumset and lots of listening to records. My interest started with early synthesizer music (J.M. Jarre, Kraftwerk, Klaus Hashagen, Shülze) and new-beat at age 12-13 then jazz came along under influence of my father (was a noisejazz drummer in the seventies). Then acid-jazz, P-funk, and ambient. Then it was time for techno, and experimental stuff. Now i'm a freak of all experimental styles. Experimental techno, jungle, ambient, industrial, electroacoustics, eclectics...and Noise. I hate very much all traditional and common music forms (except Classical music from contemporary composers). I hate all forms of pop, rock, house, karaoke, fake-emotional, and top-50 charts music. That's nothing but terrible bullshit, it's just boring like hell. My latest active interest goes explicitly to Japanese Noise. Man, that's a phenomenon ! Big respect to all Japanese noise experimenters !!

All time favourite electronic music short list :

Where beats are significant :

- Kraftwerk

- Jeff Mills

- Juan Atkins + all other detroit techno

- Aphex Twin

- Seal Phüric & Acid Kirk & D-Jack

Unsignificant beats :

- Brian Eno (Ambient on land, Thursday afternoon..)

- Pierre Henry

- Naut Humon / Rhythm and Noise

- Jean Michel Jarre (early stuff: Oxygene, Equinoxe)

- All electroacoustic artists from the world.


It seems that the three major artists in the Japanese Noise scene are: Aube, Merzbow and Masonna.

Merzbow (Masami Akita) is a noise artist and performer since the early 80's. He studied painting and art theory, but quit that to focus on the most open minded fanatic will have to bring up a serious effort to actively listen for more than 2 minutes to Merzbow's....sound. You thought dark industrial and death gore metal is intense ? Merzbow's (actually lots of other Japanese noise artists too) sound makes industrial and death metal sound like sweet minimal melodies for babies. This is undescribable . A total, straightforward wall of extremely unpossible visions penetrate your fantasy and desintegrates your mind to ride its particles down into the gravity field, towards the nucleus of a black hole. This sound is chock full of ear-shattering screeches, bursts, heavy interference hum, extreme sweeps, brutal interruptions and changes, mind-breaking textures and traumatic unpossibilities. Merzbow has made soundtracks for bondage films and collaborated with Jim 'O Rourke, Panasonic and Autechre.

Another major presence in the noise scene is Aube (Akifumi Nakajima). This guy paints and throws with the wildest sound sources, like steel wires, lungs (yep, lungs), bloodvessels (indeed), fluorescense glow lamps, water , magnetic spectroscopy etc....What Aube does with this sourcematerial is beyond words. You have to listen for yourself ! Where Merzbow is generally uncompromizing harsh, Aube uses softer ambiences here and there too. These dark, dronal, deep ambient textures generally function as a intro that morphs into something very different and close and dense.

Then we have Masonna. Psychedelic extravaganza ! Vocal psychotics ! Cathartic neurotic vertigo ! If there was music for epileptic post-industrial techno phantom hippies then this is it !! Masonna's music is crazy due to his obsession with 60's and 70's psychedelia.


I always had a silent longing in the background to discover a style of music that really doesn't belong to any genre, but never found it. I think that this Japanese noise comes very close. You can't consider this as beeing music, nor sound. It is really so incredibly strong, an attempt of mental and emotional extrication of the human soul dwelling in a society that evolved too fast.


Movies. I like to watch a good movie, don't you ? Going to a movie theatre is a everytime again a 2 hour escape from real life. My favorites are experimental films, psychedelic films and psychological films. A good movie should have its characters really evolve and go through something. In action movies, the emotional and psychological consequenses are left behind to have even more room for even more explosions and boring destructive scenes. Hollywood pictures these days have such an alarming low quality level, that it should be ignored completely. The only thing Hollywood is interested in, is throwing together some computer fx and good-looking people. That's it. And...oh yeah....don't forget to wrap a ridiculous plot around it..Big cash, big cash. Industry. Business. Hard-boiled business. My favorite movies always strongly portrays the soul of a single individual or a group of people and/or include stunning views of landscapes, or other unconventional visions and themes.


So my all time favorite movies are (not in any particular order) :

- Koyaanisqatsi (psychedelic world movie, life out of balance, very trippy, incredible images, hypnotic Philip Glass music)

- Powaqatsi (sequel to Koyaanisqatsi, life out of balance theme)

- Baraka (idem, more modern, featuring music by Dead Can Dance, and visionary IMAX composer Michael Stearns)

- Urga (awesome melancholic poetic drama, civilization theme, also wide chilling panorama's of Asian landscapes)

- Blade runner (beautiful cult dark sci-fi, the best sci-fi movie together with "2001")

- Hardware (very dark, strange sci-fi movie about a robot re-assembling itself...I can't remember so well)

- 2001, a space odyssey (famous psychedelic cult sci-fi, top quality)

- Apocalyps Now (you know, the ultimate Vietnam war movie)

- Leaving Las Vegas ( dark drama about an alcoholic drinking himself to death in Las Vegas)

- Bad lieutenant (a study of addiction and weakness of character, dark, realism)

- Easy rider (the darker side of the hippie freedom in the seventies, tolerance, misunderstanding and failure of communication theme)

- Taxidriver (loneliness, isolationism and big city anguish)

- God's lonely man (loneliness, same theme as Taxidriver, but more modern)

- Schindler's list (you know, epic Holocaust movie)

- Dreams (surreal sequence of various dreams, collaboration of Spielberg and a Japanese guy)

- Testament (life in a small town in usa right after a nearby nuclear explosion, very real and human emotional drama)

- Depth Solitude (a man on the bottom of a swimming pool, no comment, you should see this)

- Spoorloos (dutch movie. burried alive theme, but not in a horror fashion)

- De Vlaschaard (belgian movie. farming, workers on the land and father vs. son theme, you can smell the corn of the fields)

- Kids (24 hrs in the life of New York kids of the 90's, smoking spliffs, parties and having fun, nihilism)

- Trainspotting (same theme as kids, but a bit older (+20), plus addiction theme and meaningless life)

- Gummo (depicts the trauma and chaos of a country town Xenia, Ohio struck by a tornado...psychological debree !)

- Naked lunch (ultimate strangeness, paranoia...atmosphere of a crazy dream)

- The cement garden (brother and sister love, kids left behind at beginning of summervacation after mother and father died)

- Trois Couleurs / Blue, Blanc and Rouge

- The Outsiders (two american kids in the 50's runaway from the police, outsider theme, by Francis Ford Coppolla)

- Tokyo Decadence (the life of call girls in Tokyo)

- Eraserhead (no explanation)

- Elephant Man (beautiful, intelligent movie by David Lynch about the famous deformed man )

- Doom Generation (x-generation kids lost and on the run)

- Nowhere (similar)

- Basqiuat (portrait of a painter)

- Plan 9 from outer space (rated the worst movie of all times, by wich it has become a trash classic ! )

-All "underground movies" by Andy Warhol (no explanation)


Probably the most boring movie (at least the one I can remember ) for me must be Portrait of a lady. More than two hours of 19th century costumes, gentlemen and ladies evolved in cliché love-affairs. Since that movie I am alergic to costume movies.